Sunday, February 28, 2016
I overwhelm myself.
I create anxiety in my heart.
I know I do it.
Sometimes I can't stop it.
Sometimes I make it worse by putting things off
or wasting time
or making excuses.
And it is almost always internal.
Sometimes, it's so subconscious that I don't know it's happening until I get hit with a migraine.
Sometimes I feel guilty about it because...
I know things.
So, I "shouldn't" be overwhelmed or anxious.
At least that's what I think sometimes.
Which, only makes it worse.
Guilt can be good.
Guilt can be bad.
Today in Relief Society our lesson was on
It's a great talk.
It was a great lesson.
It made me think that even when I am trying to live a Christ-Centered Life,
sometimes it's hard to feel the Joy.
There are so many distractions.
The worst one is Satan, himself.
His icky whispers.
you're not good enough
you messed up, why try
you've done enough, now relax
why you? so many others could do a WAY better job
it won't matter
it doesn't matter
And so on.
He's a jerk.
The biggest jerk there ever was and ever will be.
He's a real JERK!
I KNOW this, but I have to constantly remind myself...
if we are doing our best to live the Gospel of Jesus Christ,
we CAN have Joy.
we just need to pause
do it all
But when you're doing all that and more, remember to
look for the joy
I also KNOW that was we strive to put Christ first in our lives...the center of our life,
everything else becomes easier to bare and we can find Joy even in hard or challenging times.
Thursday, February 18, 2016
Tonight I thought about my blog for the first time in a long time.
It looks like I've been writing about once a year for the past few years.
I used to love it.
I think I might love it again.
I'm thinking about cleaning the cobwebs off and trying to make my blog work for me...
in the past I felt like I started working for my blog.
It wouldn't do what I wanted it to do...and that frustrated me.
I'm going to try not to let it frustrate me.
The record with pictures is invaluable.
Tonight I got to participate in a market research opinion think tank.
I got paid to share my thoughts on innovation and technology.
I'm sworn to secrecy with sharing specifics...but,
I liked it.
And it made me think.
Lately, I've been evaluating how I spend my time
questioning what I'm passionate about,
trying to figure out what I love and why, and
also figuring out my intentions.
I've also been thinking a lot about counting my blessings.
And I've been counting them.
That's always a good thing.
I'm going to start writing them down.
Maybe on the blog?
Tonight, I got to go to the city.
The city does something to me.
I love it.
I love the energy.
I love the lights,
the height and depth the buildings create,
I love to be up in tall buildings and looking down on little cars,
I like sirens and trying to find the emergency vehicles down below.
I like to see construction cranes and new buildings going up, up, up.
I like fire escapes...they're cool.
I love the city.
Tonight, I parked on the second level, but
after my duties were complete I drove up to the top of the parking garage.
I wish I took a selfie up there,
even though I don't really like selfies.
I liked being up there.
I wish I captured the moment in a picture...
with me in it.
Tonight, I thought...
about how I love the city,
I appreciate technology and innovation.
I thought about how
I love Colorado,
(PS - I also miss Pure Michigan)