Being Overwhelmed...Finding Joy

I overwhelm myself.

I create anxiety in my heart. 

I know I do it.

Sometimes I can't stop it. 

Sometimes I make it worse by putting things off

or wasting time

or making excuses.

And it is almost always internal.

Sometimes, it's so subconscious that I don't know it's happening until I get hit with a migraine.

Sometimes I feel guilty about it because...

I know things.

Truths.

So, I "shouldn't" be overwhelmed or anxious.

At least that's what I think sometimes.

Which, only makes it worse. 

Guilt can be good.

Guilt can be bad.

Today in Relief Society our lesson was on

The Joy of Living a Christ-Centered Life by Elder Richard J. Maynes

It's a great talk.

It was a great lesson.

It made me think that even when I am trying to live a Christ-Centered Life,

sometimes it's hard to feel the Joy.

There are so many distractions.

The worst one is Satan, himself.

His icky whispers.

He says...

you're not good enough

you messed up, why try

you've done enough, now relax

why you? so many others could do a WAY better job

it won't matter

it doesn't matter

And so on.

He's a jerk.

The biggest jerk there ever was and ever will be.

He's real.

He's a real JERK!

I KNOW this, but I have to constantly remind myself...

if we are doing our best to live the Gospel of Jesus Christ, 

we CAN have Joy.

Sometime,

we just need to pause

look

listen

search

ponder

pray

give thanks

and then

do it all 

again

and again

and again. 

But when you're doing all that and more, remember to

pause

look for the joy

and

listen.

I also KNOW that was we strive to put Christ first in our lives...the center of our life, 

everything else becomes easier to bare and we can find Joy even in hard or challenging times.